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Director: Thom Keith
Writer: Thom Keith
Release Year: 1991

On top of Old Smokey, all covered with cheese, Thom Keith made a movie, with not enough sleaze.

We open with a bunch of sorority girls (including Savannah, Suzanne Ager, and Michelle Bauer) showering and doing other lovely things, but that quickly ends as Professor Hamilton (Vincent Van Patten), his student girlfriend Jamie (Betsy Russell) and some other girls whose names I never bothered learning head out to a field trip into the wilderness to meet as many clichés as possible….

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Director: Robert Madero
Writer: Robert Madero and Skippy McGriff
Release Year: 2002

Third wheels keep on turning.

Many years ago, dirty hippie cult leader / musician Timothy Bach (Stephen Pearcy) went nuts one night and started chopping up fellow dirty hippie cult members at their dirty hippie cult commune Camp Utopia. Now, some years later, five teenagers are going camping in the same place where the crimes once happened! Oh no!

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Director: Scott Spiegel
Writer: Scott Spiegel, from a story by Lawrence Bender
Release Year: 1989

“Say it ain’t so, Produce Joe!”

The night crew at a small grocery store is getting picked off like so much fresh produce, but who is doing the harvesting?

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Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Writer: Joseph Stefano based on a book by Robert Bloch
Release year: 1960

A boy’s best friend is his mother.

Marion Crane (Janet Leigh), a young woman on the run, stops for the night at the isolated Bates Motel. The motel manager, oddball Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), is happy for the company, but Marion is distracted by her recent past. The motel has a past of its own in which Marion soon becomes immersed….

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Director: Richard Franklin
Writer: Tom Holland
Release Year: 1983

Coming home is hard to do.

More than twenty years after the events of the first film, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) is released from the asylum and returns to the Bates Motel. Lila Loomis (Vera Miles)—who apparently married her sister’s boyfriend Sam—objects to his release in the strongest possible terms, but Dr. Bill Raymond (Robert Loggia) assures her that Bates is restored to sanity. Others, including Norman himself, are not so sure….

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Director: Anthony Perkins
Writer: Charles Edward Pogue
Release Year: 1986

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

The film opens with novice nun Maureen Coyle (Diana Scarwid) accidentally causing the death of another nun in a scene swiped from Vertigo. She decides to leave the order and catches a ride with general-purpose sleazebag Duane Duke (Jeff Fahey). After being left alone on the road, she finds her way to an out-of-the-way motel run by an interesting man named Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins)….

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Director, writer: Robert Hiltzik
Release year: 1983

When we’re talking about freeze-frame shock-endings, I think this one is edged in the collective memory of all true horrorfans. Slasherfans in particular.

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Director: Donald M. Jones
Writer: Evan Jones
Release Year: 1982

Family problems cause cannibalism.

Steve (Dean Russell) and Charlie (John Batis) decide to go camping. Not wanting to be left out, the guys’ significant others Sharon (Tomi Barrett) and Teddi (Ann Wilkinson) decide that they were already going camping as well. Unfortunately their chosen campground is within the territory of professional cannibal John (Gary Kent)….

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