Rumpelstiltskin

February 3rd, 2009 by Vomitron

Rumpelstiltskin   rumpelstiltskin dvd1 81x119 shock endings Director: Mark Jones
Writer: Joe Ruby & Mark Jones
Release Year: 1996

Rumpelstiltskin   Shock Endings mini logo 130 shock endings Well what do we have here? Here’s proof that some film-makers were still freezing and (to a lesser extent) shocking during the nineties. Not exactly the most memorable of all horror decades, but a modest little B-movie playing it tongue-in-cheek like RUMPELSTILTSKIN, is bound to at least put a stupid grin on any horror-fan’s face.

(Spoilers!)

Click play to listen to the “Three Years Later” epilogue-scene.

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RUMPELSTILTSKIN unites the talents of LEPRECHAUN director Mark Jones (“Huh? The man has talent? Seriously?”) and special effects artist Kevin Yagher (we can confirm that this man actually does have talent) in a nonsensical take on a Grimm fairy-tale gone bad. Pardon me if I call this a “little people’s horror” film, because just like in the LEPRECHAUN-series, it stars a short person with crazy make-up as the villain. This time it’s not Warwick Davis who may do the honours, but an actor named Max Grodénchik (who actually appears to be much taller in real life than Davis). And Rumpelstiltskin’s one-liners are at least twice as delicious as Leprechaun’s. At one point he even quotes Col. Hannibal from THE A-TEAM by saying “I love it when a plan comes together”, while driving an 8-wheeler and puffing on a cigar. Who would have guessed an 15th century troll-demon would know who George Peppard is…?

But enough with the bollocks. After being imprisoned for about 500 years in a little statue made out of stone (at the bottom of the ocean, no less), Rumpelstiltskin gets set free by a grieving, young mother, who just bought the statue in some antique-store. Now our little devilish fiend wants the soul of mommy’s baby, to turn himself immortal. In the end, evil Rumpy doesn’t succeed, gets turned into a little green statue again by the blackest of all magic, thrown away, rolls off some hill, right into a stream.

Rumpelstiltskin   rumpelstiltskin01 300x229 shock endings Of course, this wouldn’t be a horror movie if it didn’t have a little epilogue, taking place three years later. A cute little blond girl and her friend find the statue at the riverbank. She picks it up, and rushes off to show it to mommy, who’s having a picnic. When mommy turns around, she’s holding… a little baby (“Oh, no! Not a little baby!”). Cute little blond girl says she likes the statue’s colors, and asks mommy if she can take it home. Mommy agrees and also manages to say about the statue “It’s really interesting.”. Seriously, really interesting? Your daughter drags an ugly, muddy statue along, shows it to you and all you can say is “It’s really interesting.”?

Oh well… Point is, the camera zooms in on the green statue thing (prison of the villainous Rumpelstiltskin, let me remind you of it once more), and to the viewer’s surpise, the frame freezes. Accompanied by what sounds like some monks humming a dark tune (where did they come from, all of the sudden?). I admit, not exactly the most memorable ending, but hey, the frame did freeze.


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I actually expected the eyes of the statue to light up all red, like they previously did during Rumpelstiltskin’s first resurrection. Alas, I was wrong. Which was good, of course. Otherwise mommy would have known the statue was evil and would not have let her daughter take it home. Now Rumpy can be unleashed again… So where’s the sequel? I want a sequel, damnit!


(Click all images to enlarge)

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Trailer:

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