Writer: Vidal Raski
Director: Harlan Asquith & William Mayo
Release year: 1973
Danish title: Dvaergen

Demented Acts of Perversion in the Attic of Sex & Torture

The depraved story of Olaf the Dwarf and his mother Lila Lash who run a boarding house and a white slavery ring, up in the attic, unbeknownst to the boarders.

CAUTION: Contains subject matter that might be considered offensive if not in the right mood. Reading discretion is advised.

Jack Black

(Read this angry) Wretched, rancid, horrible pile of steaming insufferable trash.

(Read this joyful) I would like to recommend this film to anybody who might show an interest in the following three things:

#1 – Fully naked girls with or without hairy armpits, drugged out of their mind on heroin, used for sex and torture.

#2 – An ugly, sick and disgusting peeping-tom dwarf that looks like the miniature version of Jack Black.

#3 – An old ‘cabaretière’. Yes, this film features utterly pointless scenes of cabaret performed by an old hag (who is the mother of the dwarf). I’m not kidding, look:

Since I have no particular interest in any of the aforementioned three things, this movie was an extremely painful and dull watch.

(Read the rest however you want)

"Free drugs for sex is not a bad thing", she said to the other girls.

All this nonsense takes place in a run-down pension of which the attic is the right place for the most sickest portrayals. The drugs get administered to the girls by the old hag and her dwarf. The girls get raped by random, unknown men. Between all these acts of decadence, there is some sort of story line involving a couple moving into a room of the pension. Peter is a struggling author which we never see write anything. Mary is his cute blonde bimbo girlfriend who does nothing. They have sex in their bed and eat breakfast in their room. Also insert random scenes of the old hag and her granny friend getting drunk and acting senile. It’s sick of me to write this, but the old hag her boobs were still in very good shape.

(Here’s the twist of the review)

(You can take a break for half an hour now)

Alice, I mean... Mary In Chains

Alright, I’m back. More sex, drugs & torture. Also for the newly enslaved cute blonde girl. The dwarf even did something very nasty (and pretty painful from the looks of it) with his walking cane. You can probably guess what. Now, you simply don’t do that to a girl unless she asks for it. And blonde cute girl wasn’t asking. Bad dwarf, very bad dwarf. He also drooled in that scene. I’m just saying this because I’m sure there’s people out there that like drooling dwarves.

But this movie has a good ending. It got less boring and I really liked the ending. People even die before the movie’s over. Yay!

Also, as inexplicable as it may seem, the director, or writer, or whomever was responsible for it, really had some notion of concepts like ‘set-up’ and ‘pay-off’. Why was the boyfriend a struggling writer? Just so because the old hag could type a letter on his type-writer. Why had the sinful dwarf toys to play with? Just so cute blonde girl could trip over a toy train and get busted in the attic. Now that’s good script writing, boys and girls. In all good films, things happen for a reason. And it’s no different in The Sinful Dwarf.

She's too cute to be in this movie

I’ll point out that this movie has one of the most profound zoom-in shots I’ve ever seen in any movie. At one point the camera zooms in on a toy police car. This shot actually is a metaphorical way of  visualizing Peter’s inner thoughts. It says: Peter is going to call the police and they’ll soon be on their way to the rescue. Again, I’m not kidding. Here’s the shot:

This toy police car does not have drugs in it

Just one more, odd random thing: The writer of this abhorring piece of cinema, is named William Mayo (or Bill Mayo for friends). Now, “mayo” is short for “mayonaise”. That’s a sauce especially Belgian people like to put on their french fries. I’m Belgian. And he’s called Mayo. That makes me laugh. But I don’t like ‘mayonaise’ at all. I prefer cocktail sauce on my french fries. So that means something close to it being written in the stars that I was not going to like this movie very much. Don’t you love a good bit of warped logic every now and then?

I’ll throw in a a couple more random fun pics… (click ‘em to enlarge and increase the laughter!)

Old Zombie Hag

What the fuck? Hug the bear! Hug it, waaaah!!!

Look at this guy go! I bet he's having fun!

Okay, let’s see… The Sinful Dwarf is demented and perverted, I’ll give it that much. Demented + Perverted. That’s 1+1. One extra point for all the totally naked girls because they looked cute. Meaning: 3/10. Equals a wonderful film. Aw, scratch that. I’m just gonna go with Perverted & Demented. That’s 2/10. Still a wonderful film.

Nevertheless, I’d rather be high on heroin and used as a sex slave myself than to ever watch this depraved movie again. I’m serious. Where’s the drugs to get me messed up? Where’s the girl that will ride me? Bring it on, I’d say! Damnit, I’m feeling so foul and perverted now I’m in strong need of a shower to wash away the filth. I’m off filling up the bathtub. Any of you ladies care to join me? (Damn it! Shut up, Gert, shut up! Stop typing, now!)

Aw crap, I’m out of stupid pictures to show… Oh no, wait, here’s one more:

That's a mighty big phone, baby!

This film is the work of the Devil, I tell you. Feeble-minded people are likely to be influenced by it and I doubt it will be in a good way…

Rating:

Old Theatrical Trailer:

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