Simon Says

January 9th, 2015 by Coventry

Simon Says   Simon Says dvd front 85x120 reviews horror Director: William Dear
Writer: William Dear
Release year: 2005
Alternative English title: ‘Evil Twins’

Simon Says   Zeno Pictures mini logo reviews horror It’s Raining Pickaxes, Hallellujah!

On a beautiful summer day a bunch of students decide to go on a camping trip. As we all know, that’s never a good idea when you’re starring in a slasher movie. Especially one that has Crispin Glover in a double role as Simon and Stanley, the diabolical backwoods twin brothers.

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What we have here, is another absurdly grotesque and over-the-top cheesy gorefest-slasher that could have come straight out of the 1980s, with its demented killer, stereotype characters and downright insane story lines! Many avid fans agree that Crispin Glover is a genuine hero of the horror genre, and he obviously experienced the time of his life starring in this unspeakably nasty homage to bad B-movies & backwoods exploitation horror. Me says: Simon Rocks… and so does his equally sick-in-the-head brother Stanley.

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Glover stars in a double role as the redneck twin brothers Simon & Stanley, terrorizing a van full of empty-headed teenagers on their camping trip in the woods. Whilst enjoying random sex and soft drugs, drooling Simon sneaks up on the teenagers and kills them – as well as some other unfortunate bystanders – in some of the most ingenious ways you’ll ever see! Simon is particularly creative with pickaxes, as he developed several wonderful traps and ambushes all over the woods that mercilessly catapult the rusty weapons in the direction of the victims. Needless to say Simon’s macabre games result in a gigantic blood bath, with gory impalement, decapitations and dismemberment. Of course, there absolutely isn’t any tension or plot development and the only story twist that is worth mentioning can easily be guessed long before it’s revealed on screen.

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Crispin Glover (unintentionally?) finds a perfect balance between creepiness and humor. Although constantly exaggerating in performing his odd roles, he somehow occasionally manages to look creepy and menacing nonetheless. Perhaps that’s just because he is Crispin Glover and always has this aura of morbidity surrounding him. One moment he’s an ultra-creepy maniac who makes eyeless puppets out of his victims, yet the next he’s a sneering lunatic who crushes little fluffy dogs with his feet and yells out silly lines like “You forgot to say Simon Says!!”

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The camping teenagers are your average routine and colorless lambs to the slaughter, including the pot-head, the muscled macho, the bimbo (who’s likely to get topless at some point in the movie), the girl who always complains and the one remotely intelligent and likable chick who will presumably survive the massacre. Textbook slasher fodder, but I couldn’t possibly care less because ‘Simon Says’ is a highly welcome return to the outlandish splatter fun of the ’80s. Even the whole clichéd “family reunion” sequence near the end of the film immediately reminded me off several titles on my endless list of ’80s favorites. I personally guarantee ‘Simon Says’ is the ideal midnight-movie crowd-pleaser, terrific entertainment to watch with a bunch of like-minded buddies. And if you dig this type of slasher fun, then ‘Simon Says’ would make an ideal double bill with David Arquette‘s ‘The Tripper’ (2006). Three hours of amusing blood-soaked backwoods insanity guaranteed!

Rating: Simon Says   star reviews horror Simon Says   star reviews horror Simon Says   star reviews horror Simon Says   star reviews horror Simon Says   blankstar reviews horror

DVD Specifics:
Limited Metalpack DVD Edition

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Running time: 84 mins
English, Dolby Digital 5.1 & 2.0
Aspect ratio:
1.78:1 (4:3 compatible)

Available to order on DVD through Zeno Pictures.


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Trailer on YouTube.


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Simon Says   Evil Twins Simon Says 213x300 reviews horror

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