Making a monkey out of the forces of evil
Dr. Kohler is kidnapped upon his arrival in the Philippines by an evil organization headed by the enigmatic Mr. Giant. It seems the good doctor invented a little something called an N-bomb and Mr. Giant wants to use it to hold the world hostage. Enter Agent 00 (Ernesto de la Cruz aka Weng Weng), a 2’9″ super spy who is sent to thwart the syndicate that is filled with loudly dressed, drug dealing, incompetent mooks. Agent 00 uses his skills of seduction and partners up with various women (some more than others) before working with Irma (Beth Sandoval), a female agent who has infiltrated the organization. The two join to mount an all out assault to foil Mr. Giant and his numbskull minions’ plan of world domination.
For Your Height Only is a amusingly profound take on the spy genre. The title itself is a play on words on the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only (1981) starring Roger Moore that was released the same year. As asinine as the plot is, it would be natural to assume that this slice of cinematic weirdness would be considered a comedy. Surprisingly, there aren’t enough intentional comedic bits (besides the atrocious dubbing) to warrant such a claim. Given the fact that the actors seem to be playing it straight just makes this flick so damn balls-out crazy that its audaciousness can stir a few chuckles. Weng Weng is awesome as Agent 00, partly due to the fact that he isn’t striving to make contrived midget humor work; he plays his role like any other action star would. He is supposed to be a badass secret agent and does so admirably; which contrasted with his miniature stature makes For Your Height Only fire on all cylinders.
One of the downfalls of low budget action films is that the action can sometimes slow to a snail’s pace. Fortunately, director Eddie Nicart crammed as much action into 88 minutes as humanly possible. Agent 00 gets into a fight every five minutes or so as he delivers enough sweep and groin kicks that would make your mind spin. Even more amazing is how nimbly Weng Weng performs his stunts. Apparently, he studied under the tutelage of fellow countryman/former Bruce Lee student/martial arts master Dan Inosanto and Ju Gran Chaud founder Laurent Painchaud. I doubt if Weng Weng needed all of that hardcore martial arts training because it seems as though Filipino baddies have problems spotting a 2’9″ midget in a leisure suit in their peripheral vision who is more than willing to kick them in the weiner boobs.
No spy film would be complete without spy gadgets and like other films of this ilk, there is a requisite scene in which The Chief (Tony Ferrer,who starred in the Tony Falcon/Agent x-44 film series) explains away some of the gear given to Agent 00. In an unintentionally hilarious scene, The Chief seems to be staring at the items; making up their intended purpose as he goes along. There is a ring that can detect all poisons (which is made of gold due to department budget constraints), a belt buckle that can slice steel bars, a dopey looking remote control hat, a deadly fountain pen, a pair of x-ray shades (best used on Filipino secretaries), and a machine gun scaled down to 00′s diminutive size. He also uses a tiny jet pack that looks suspiciously like it was made with dryer hose, aluminum foil and two fire extinguishers. It works but the Bell Rocket Belt from‘s opening credits it ain’t. For Your Height Only does have 00 up in the stratosphere quite a bit… from floating back to earth using an umbrella a la Mary Poppins to rappelling from a Ferris Wheel. Not spectacular by any means but it entertained me enough to keep watching.
For Your Height Only was released in 2005 by Mondo Macabro with the bruceploitation film as the third volume of the Dick Randall Collection. A disclaimer precedes FYHO, explaining that the DVD transfer was made with the surviving tape master which is still cleaner than the bootleg release from 1999. However, the Mondo Macabro transfer is sub-par compared to some of the even more obscure films they release. As far as extras go, Pete Tombs writes an informative essay entitled “Dick Randall and Weng Weng”. Unfortunately, the other essay written by AV Maniacs writer and forum moderator Ian Jane goes from slightly humorous to resorting to Weng Weng height jokes. Even though this release tops the OOP Simitar DVD, I thought it would be more appropriate to release Weng Weng‘s first spy film with its 1982 sequel, . Just a thought…
Oh yeah, and by the way…
Agent 00 fights Mr. Giant who, as it turns out, is a megalomaniac dwarf.
So if you and your drinking buddies are arguing about who would win in a fight, starring midget versus dwarf, then this film settles it once and for all.Powered by Hackadelic Sliding Notes 1.6.4