May 31st, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant

Croc   Croc 2007 CR 84x120 reviews horror action Director: Stewart Raffill
: Ken Solarz
Release Year
: 2007

Salty doom

Bridge Largemeat … I mean … Jack McQuade (Peter Tuinstra), runs an animal park in Thailand which is much coveted by designated bad guy industrialist Andy Konsong Jr. (Tawon Saetang). When someone gets eaten by a crocodile the same day a crocodile escapes from the park that Jack built, he teams up with croc expert Croc Hawkins (Michael Madsen) to find the real crocodile because his tame crocs are too nice to eat people. Unfortunately, the giant croc they have to face is a CGI model, so it’s going to be tough….


Croc   croctitle 300x168 reviews horror action

(Spoilers follow…)

Croc   croc 1 300x168 reviews horror action We all know the hoary old trope of the evil developer who wants to take over the struggling business but the stubborn owner won’t sell so the thuggery commences; it’s the plot of half of the episodes of the A-Team for starters. Why these morons don’t simply sell their land and live the rest of their lives off the profits is never explored, instead they’re the heroes of the common man and the evil villains of the fairy tales told by industrialist’s children’s nanny’s assistant before bed. In the case of this film, it’s not made clear if Andy has ever made a reasonable offer to Jack, but he certainly will stop at nothing that would be a felony in the USA to get – though, it could be totally legal in Thailand for all I know – Jack off his land. He should probably wash his hands after that. Andy even gets the dang cops – Detective Sergeant Dang (Jack Prinya) to be precise – to help him in his evil profit-seeking behavior. Anyway, it all turns out fine as the evil land developer gets chomped by the freakishly karmic crocodile.

Croc   croc 2 300x168 reviews horror action Jack is visited by animal control chick Evelyn Namawong (Sherry Phungprasert) early on after Andy sics her on him. She hates him and resents the way he treats the animals that she loves so much – so much that she’s one of those pathetic vegetarians who don’t understand that eating only veggies in a croc movie is a bad idea as vegetarians taste better – so we know that eventually she’ll fall head over heels in love with him; even though he never treats his animals any better. Even with the help of Jack’s sister Allison (Elizabeth Healey) – who seems to be working at Jack’s park for college credit – and Jack’s nephew / Allison’s son Theo (Scott Hazell) – who is just a teenager – Jack isn’t able to run his park particularly well. This is a shame as it gives everyone reason to shut him down, even if Theo has a crush on a cutie with an unfortunate name: Chompoo (Duangduean Kumphasee).

Croc   croc 3 300x168 reviews horror action Croc Hawkins is present because the “saltie” – salt-water crocodile – that is causing all the problems killed someone he cared about, probably his son. This is the reason that Jack and some other guy end up in wetsuits looking for the croc in deep water, a vendetta. Actually, the croc has a bounty on it and it decides to snatch Allison to build up as much drama as a television film is allowed by the evil censors. The croc’s lair shows that the writer of this flick didn’t do the research on crocs as they tend to be pretty lazy and slow, they don’t stock up a lair / larder full of arms and legs, they only hunt when they’re hungry – unless this lair is supposed to be a secret mannequin burial ground, then it’s all good. Strangely Hawkins not only manages to survive the film, but is totally useless during the denouement as he calls out useless advice and stands nearby with a huge rifle that he never shoots.

Croc   croc 4 300x168 reviews horror action The special effects in this film vary a bit. A lot of the shots of the crocodile use real croc footage, but the croc is never shown to be as big as all the characters indicate. Still, the real footage is a welcome change from the usual bad CGI; except that there is some bad CGI in places, but it’s kept to a minimum. Most of the time, if a character is going to interact with the croc, a somewhat-convincing mechanical croc or a real one is used rather than sloppy CGI, which I prefer. There is some blood and gore in the film, but it’s blunted because the film was made for broadcast rather than theatrical release or direct to video. Still, the stink of TV movie infests this film as everything plays out exactly like it should with no surprises, no suspense and only one kid killed, but, as the kid is disobedient and Australian – rather than respectful and human – it’s okay.


Rating: Croc   star reviews horror action Croc   halfstar reviews horror action Croc   blankstar reviews horror action Croc   blankstar reviews horror action Croc   blankstar reviews horror action


Trailer on YouTube.



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