Wednesday, July 6th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant 
Director: Max Von Diesel
Writers: Clancy Fitzsimmons, Bruce G. Hallenbeck & Max Von Diesel with story help from Helen Black, John Bacchus & Michael Beckerman
Release Year: 2004
Drain them … wet?
Willamina Van Helsing (Erika Smith) is enlisted by her dead Uncle Abe Van Helsing (Bob MacKay) to slay Dracula’s daughter, Countess Dracula (Darian Caine). Since Willamina is completely unable to defeat the Countess, instead she allies with her in a move so diabolically intelligent and calculated that I’m certain she planned it in advance rather than it being the result of poor writers using it as a way to show a lot of women doing things to other women. After all, Seduction Cinema has standards….
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Category: Comedy, Horror, Reviews Tags: Soft-Core, Vampires
Friday, July 1st, 2011 by Vomitron 
Director: Jack Starret
Writer: Lee Frost and Wes Bishop
Release Year: 1975
Satanists. You gotta hand it to them, they’re usually not the most friendly kind of people. In ‘Race With The Devil’ Peter Fonda, Warren Oates, Loretta Swit and Lara Parker run into more than a whole bunch of them during their vacation. The only thing for our foursome left to do, is get in their vehicle and drive… Racing away right up until the terrifying climax.
(Spoilers!)
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Category: Shock Endings Tags: Road-Movie, Satanism
Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by Vomitron 
Director: David DeCoteau
Writer: Arne Olsen
Release Year: 2007
That’s a beautiful bear. I want one too.
I desperately try to not watch one single David DeCoteau movie every year, yet for some reason I always seem to end up watching one of them every single year. This has been going on for some years now. I have no explanation for this phenomenon.
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Category: Horror, Reviews Tags: Animals, Snoozefest
Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant 
Director: Roger Earl
Writers: Laurei I. Lee & Dorothee Psaw
Release Year: 1983
And people say Twilight is gay…
Count Gaylord (Tim Kramer) and his servant Boris (Rand Remington) head to Los Angeles after one of the Count’s converts, the Marquis de Suede (Steve Collins) appears there. There’s a hell of a lot more gay sex than plot, which makes it a lot harder … tougher to discuss this one than usual. Not because there’s anything wrong with gayness, but when a film is 93% scenes of sexual activity, there’s painfully little plot left….
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Category: Horror, Reviews Tags: Gay, Porn, Vampires
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant 
Director: Mark Young
Writer: Mark Young
Release Year: 2007
Red Rover, Red Rover, You Got Blood All Over….
So, peak oil has peaked and mankind was unable to figure out what to do about it so the world went all West Virginia on us. Darwin (Robert Carradine) leads a group that doesn’t understand that survival of the fittest means, that they actually all need to work hard. The group – who dwell in a hospital – admit a new member, Neon (Rachel Miner). A current member – Viper (Michael Kelly) – leaves while pretty Dakota (Nicole DuPort) and Nova the “retard” (Emily Catherine Young) remain with the rest. Then, as is often the case with post-apocalyptic worlds, the lowlifes show up and bring their sharp things that they use for cutting and culling and even flensing.
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Category: Action, Horror, Reviews, Science Fiction Tags: Post-Apocalyptic
Director: Max Von Diesel
