Director: Brett Leonard
Writer: Hans Rodionoff based on a character by Steve Gerber
Release Year: 2005

Keep your man-thing to yourself please, there are ladies present.

Oil tycoon Frederic Schist (Jack Thompson) has opened an oil platform in some sacred Indian swamp and people have begun disappearing, including the sheriff. The new sheriff, Kyle Williams (Matthew Le Nevez) and school teacher / environmental protester Teri Elizabeth Richards (Rachael Taylor) try to stop it, despite all the victims being standard-issue rednecks. Killing rednecks is a public service, and I resent anyone trying to slow or halt this necessary work….

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Director: William Lustig
Writer: C. A . Rosenberg and Joe Spinell
Release Year: 1980

Every time you go out this kind of thing happens.

A woman has her throat sliced as she was waiting for her boyfriend on an empty beach. When the boyfriend returns, a hulking figure attacks him from behind and garrotes him off of the ground. Frank (Joe Spinell) wakes up screaming and sweaty. It was only a nightmare. He begins to rock himself back and forth to gather his bearings. It is apparent that Frank has some serious mental issues… and we are only three minutes into the film.

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Director: Tripp Reed
Writer: John Werner
Release Year: 2005

Wow, finally, a WMD!

Kramer (Jeff Fahey) – who is some kind of army commander – sends Sgt. Baxter (Robert Beltran) and his men – and woman Cpl. Keats (Heather Donahue) – out into the middle of nowhere Iraq to find a missing reporter, one Ashley Pierce (Chase Masterson). On the way out they find that all’s not well in the region – which shouldn’t surprise anyone – and there are a lot of corpses stuffed in various places. They eventually meet up with Umari (Faran Tahir) – an Iraqi who knows English – and a monster of some sort… don’t look at the title or you’ll figure out the secret!

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Director: Evan Lee
Writer: Keith Burns & Ray Atherton and Mikos Gyulai & Steve Singer
Release year: 1977

Morak, The Destroyer!

Oh dear, where to begin? I laughed pretty hard with that sequence where the guy’s about to commit suicide and then calls it off because he’s running late for work. But this film is not a comedy. It’s an alledged shock feature that seems to start off as a tame rape/revenge kind of deal, but very quickly heads off in a slightly more supernatural direction, doing anything but firmly pedalling along. And like any child learning how to ride a bicycle can tell you; when you loose pedals and fall on your ass, it hurts.

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Director: Alberto De Martino (as Herbert Martin)
Writer: Gianfranco Clerici, Vincenzo Mannino and Alberto De Martino
Release year: 1985

Quite an amazing piece of utter nonsense

Reporter Graig Milford (David Warbeck) has seen it all… Vietnam war crimes, cannibal tribes, political shenanigans and what not else. It’s all fine by him and nowadays he’s comfortable working for television in Miami. After interviewing Dr. Schweiker ‘The Nazi’ (Sergio Rossi) about a scientific breakthrough, involving the solution to a puzzling enigma of genetic engeneering, he gets permission to hang around the lab to shoot some additional footage of the newly bred organism. Milford doesn’t mind, so hanging around the lab is what he does. But an accidental electrocution causes the tiny organism – which looks like strawberry-flavored jelly pudding sprinkled with bits of puke – to die… briefly, as it comes back to life seconds later. But then, suddenly, the room is filled with ghostly imagery and eerie moaning sounds. What the hell? Luckily, Milford still had his camera rolling…

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