Action

Director: Elliot Silverstein
Writers: Michael Butler, Dennis Shryack & Lane Slate
Release Year: 1977

A town with skidmarks.

Deputy Wade (James Brolin) – father of Lynn Marie (Kim Richards) and Debbie (Kyle Richards) – is seriously dating schoolteacher Lauren (Kathleen Lloyd) and generally enjoying life. The problem is, an evil-looking car with tinted windows comes roaring into his small Utah town and starts making street pizza out of people. Actually, screw off Wade, the car is the star of this show….

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Director: Joe Law
Writer: none, apparantly
Release Year: 1979
Mandarin title: Tian Can Di Que

Limbless Kungfu

Let’s get right to the point: The Crippled Masters is a fantastic horrible movie. Hilarious and cringeworthy scenes follow one another at rapid speed, while this crippled kungfu extravaganza unfolded before our very eyes at last year’s ‘Freakshow Friday’, part of a midnight screening series at Offscreen Film Festival.

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Director: Pearry Reginald Teo
Writer: Keith Collea, based on the comic by Pearry Reginald Teo
Release year: 2007

DNA: Dare Not Alter

In a not-so-distant, seemingly goth-inspired future, messing with people’s DNA appears to be quite the hot topic. Messing with good intent is one thing, but inevitably good things will always fall into the wrong hands of bad people.

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Director: Louis Morneau
Writer: Molly Meeker, Charles R. Meeker and Leslie Scharf
Release Year: 2003

Sometimes a different route is a good idea.

Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) is still a little messed up from the events of the first film, but not so messed up that he skipped becoming a cop; although being tightly-wound and shooting people for no reason is a bad idea. He takes his girlfriend, Maggie (Kari Wuhrer), out to visit his old friend Capt. Esteridge (played by Stephen Hair this time) when his bitch girlfriend insists on stopping for a hitchhiker … also named ‘Jim’ (Jake Busey), then, as in the first film, things go badly….

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Director: Enzo G. Castellari
Writers: Tito Carpi, Enzo G. Castellari & Antonio Visone
Release Year: 1982
Italian title: I Nuovi Barbari

Fred Williamson and the Templars of Doom

Italian Post-Apocalyptic Mayhem… Oh, how those words sound like music to my ears.  Undisputed champions, as they are, in ripping off every possible succesful foreign genre known to mankind, Italians can truly claim the title of being the uncrowned kings of 80′s Post-Nuke sci-fi/action fodder. Once again the end of the world is nigh, and these warriors of the Italian wastelands perfectly illustrate just how insane things can get…

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