Archive for June, 2011

Alabama’s Ghost

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Alabamas Ghost   alabama 82x120 reviews horror Director: Fredric Hobbs
Writer
: Fredric Hobbs
Release year
: 1973

It makes sense, I swear, but where are the luchadores?

Alabama (Christopher Brooks) finds the magician gear formerly owned by Carter the Great (E. Kerrigan Prescott) in the basement of a nightclub and decides to become a magician. He seeks out Granny (Ken Grantham) to find out about Carter, then goes to Moxie (also Ken Grantham) to learn magic and becomes Alabama, King Of The Cosmos. He goes on tour and soon we get vampires, a Nazi mad scientist, and some voodoo, plus a script that looks like it was co-written by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds….

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Carriers

Friday, June 17th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Carriers   carriers poster02 81x120 reviews horror Directors: Àlex Pastor & David Pastor
Writers
: Àlex Pastor & David Pastor
Release Year: 2009

Plague? Rats.

Danny Green (Lou Taylor Pucci) his brother Brian (Chris Pine) and two women – Bobby (Piper Perabo) and Kate (Emily VanCamp) – are heading on a road trip to the beach when they run across Frank Holloway (Christopher Meloni) and his sick daughter, Jodie (Kiernan Shipka) in a SUV that’s out of gas. Normally, this would be a minor inconvenience, but the whole USA – possibly the world – is dealing with an always-fatal pandemic, and she’s infected. In case you couldn’t guess from the title – and the fact that Christopher Meloni only seems to be cast in tragic media – things don’t end so well….

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Curse of Bigfoot

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Curse of Bigfoot   curse of bigfoot 88x120 reviews horror Director: Dave Flocker
Writer
: James T. Flocker
Release Year
: 1978

When Bigfoot Indian mummies attack.

A professor and a gaggle of students head out into the mountains for some learning about Indians. Instead they find a cave that contains a mummy, which they, against all standards of archeology, remove to a woodshed. The mummy’s not dead though, or maybe it is, and rises up and slays….

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Deathstalker

Saturday, June 18th, 2011 by Vomitron -

Deathstalker   deathstalker dvd 84x120 reviews horror fantasy Director: James Sbardellati
Writer:
Howard R. Cohen
Release year:
1983

One boobie, two boobies, four boobies, six boobies, eight…

The fearless warrior Deathstalker (Richard Hill), defender of all women who expose their breasts, sets off on a quest to obtain three ancient relics with magical powers. The evil magician Munkar (Bernard Erhard) pretty much wants the same, only he cares a bit less about topless women and more about, well, uhm, doing evil things. Naturally, there’s also a princess held captive which the mighty Deathstalker has to save.

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Deathstalker II

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011 by Vomitron and Perfesser Deviant -

Deathstalker II   deathstalker ii poster02 88x120 reviews horror fantasy comedy Director: Jim Wynorski
Writer:
Neil Ruttenberg, R.J. Robertson and Jim Wynorski
Release year:
1987

Duel of the Boobies

Princess Evie (Monique Gabrielle) meets Deathstalker (John Terlesky) when she’s being abused by the king’s guards. She gets him to help her on a quest to wrest control of her kingdom back from Jarek the Sorcerer (John Lazar) and his clone of Evie (also Monique Gabrielle). They have some comedic adventures, etc.

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Gayracula

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Gayracula   gayracula cr 66x120 reviews horror Director: Roger Earl
Writers
: Laurei I. Lee & Dorothee Psaw
Release Year
: 1983

And people say Twilight is gay…

Count Gaylord (Tim Kramer) and his servant Boris (Rand Remington) head to Los Angeles after one of the Count’s converts, the Marquis de Suede (Steve Collins) appears there. There’s a hell of a lot more gay sex than plot, which makes it a lot harder … tougher to discuss this one than usual. Not because there’s anything wrong with gayness, but when a film is 93% scenes of sexual activity, there’s painfully little plot left….

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Grizzly Rage

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by Vomitron -

Grizzly Rage   grizzly rage 83x120 reviews horror Director: David DeCoteau
Writer:
Arne Olsen
Release Year:
2007

That’s a beautiful bear. I want one too.

I desperately try to not watch one single David DeCoteau movie every year, yet for some reason I always seem to end up watching one of them every single year. This has been going on for some years now. I have no explanation for this phenomenon.

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Jailbait Babysitter

Friday, June 17th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Jailbait Babysitter   Jailbait Babysitter poster 80x120 reviews drama Director: John Hayes
Writer
: John Hayes
Release Year
: 1977

With a title like that, it must be good!

Vicki (Therese Pare), the titular jail-bait babysitter, gets sick of her pawing boyfriend Robert (Roscoe Born) and runs away to live with call girl Lorraine (Lydia Wagner). What follows is the boring journey of a young woman finding out that having sex for money is preferable to having sex with a man she loves. Wait, what?

John Goodman appears in a small part at the end.

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Knight of the Peeper

Friday, June 17th, 2011 by Perfesser Deviant -

Knight of the Peeper   Knight of the Peeper poster 83x120 reviews horror Director: Jose Sombra
Writers
: Claude Anders, Dan Dare & Jose Sombra
Release Year
: 2006

He … uh … peeps.

A modern sex-murderer and a resurrected medieval sex-murderer both murder women over sex. Yeah.

 

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Little Devils: The Birth

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011 by Vomitron -

Little Devils: The Birth   little devils the birth 1993 65x120 reviews horror comedy Director: George Pavlou
Writer:
Elliott Stein
Release year:
1993

Charles Band is not the only one who can play with dolls.

Struggling writer Ed Reid (Marc Price) has a crazy scientist and a horny landlady for neighbours. The landlady, he can handle. But Lionel (Wayne McNamara), the scientist, is out of his league. The guy is creating an army of small demonoid critters in the apartment upstairs. There goes the neighbourhood…

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